by jen dyck-sprout
Spirit Animal 1
What is the species of birdRestless as the sea,With colours that hide an inner nerd,And an imagination that runs free?A bird on a quest to make others feel known,Though ultimately at peace, dancing alone.Above all, searching for new sights to see:That is the bird most like me.
Six Word Memoir
The world I'm dying to knowThe people who showMeWhat it's liketo beSeenHeardNot just observed
I've been here beforeNever again, I even swore.It's just... I have to knowAll the sides you don't show.Selfishly pushing back the line,As I buy myself time,While the universe decidesIf our paths should collide.
If I'm a flower to youThen you should knowI need the bees too.I enjoy their showBringing them to their kneesAnd how much I growWhen each one fleesBeyond where the wind can blowCarrying a piece of me.For there is a bigger picture.It's not just for the bees you seeGardeners, birds, florists, and even weeds,I've known plenty.
So hard to defineWhat makes your light shineBut when I close my eyesAnd feel what's insideI see what others don't understandWhy you take my neck in your handsHalf woman half man
Are you tryingThinkingPryingThe way Im inclined to dowhen someone like youOpens a doorGives me a littleAnd denies me more
Spirit Animal 2
A big catWith a desire to be seen.Tired of hidingThat he's sensitive as can be
Along comes someone newTo take my mind off of youConsuming me anewUntil it doesn't even matter whoI was addressing this to
There's a new sailor on my shorenot quite satisfiedwith the path of sailors before"It's time to toss the map aside," he decides."I want something more."He patiently studies the pull of my tide,Waiting for the perfect moment to exploreThe parts of the sea where the light goes to hide,This depth in me that he can't ignore.He waits and waits but he's sure he will drownIf he were to embark on this journey down.So he grabs his map, and with the stars in sight,eventually sails off into the night.
Grief & Desire
I’m normally intimidated by men like you,Successful, older, pretty cute too.But you disarmed me so easily,And things escalated rather quickly.I remember it starting when you hinted that you’d be more fun,Asking each call whether we should maybe get some work done.I felt like a school girl,moving back in time,Wondering if this feelingwas just in my mind.Giggling and smiling, maybe too much,Until I started to suspectI wasn’t the only one feeling this rush.After 48 hours of non stop texts,I finally confirmed this connection as such.You admit you haven’t seen it,but you want my body anyway—Every last inch of it,you’re not too shy to say.Your words flash in my eyesAs I imagine your lips between my thighsFor as long as it takesTo make my 'lovely legs' shake.Now you say you’re just confused,But please know, I want to be your muse.I feel you weighed down by grief and desire—I can’t explain how, but I can help you feel lighter.It might just be,That these scenes stay in our heads,If only to help us seeThat at least we’re not dead.There must be a greater rhyme or reasonBecause even science can’t explainHow grief and desire share a seasonAnd can feel one in the same.
Let Nature Do Its Thing
I had a feeling.Actually, more of a hearing—Like wind chiming in my brain,A cosmic symphony driving me insane.Alerting me that something was there.Where?In that space that carries our texts
From one screen to the next;Where electricity builds before a strike,And magnetic forces paint the night.The same place that turns spores to mushrooms,And compels all flowers to bloom.Way out where distant suns flare,And deep down where time has no care,ThereI want to ignore this tug at my core—The intense craving for something more.Like a hand reaching for mine,Since the beginning of time.But how long can I possibly resist the desireWhen it’s making me so damn tired?I can’t fathom a life in which we don’t meetAny less than one in which prairie fields don’t have wheatA world where birds can’t fly or sing,And nature doesn’t just do its thing.So I’ll patiently wait for the day,That the wind blows the right way,Bringing a wisp of what’s out thereDown to earth for us to share.Like a tide meeting its moon,Not a minute too soon.
This mysterious energy keeping me up at nightIs spawning dreams of such delightLast night you knocked at my doorKnowing you came for something moreI opened it cautiously, hiding my smileLest you lure me, inch by inch, to ride with you for milesDown a path of no return—an evolutionary drive,Where boundaries are meant to be crossed, and species to thrive.
Can You Hear Me?
You say you’ll “respect my boundaries,”That you “couldn’t stand to hurt me.”But what if I don’t have any,And pain reminds me to breathe?“We could not take the sex path,” you say,As if that will make this go away.“And just enjoy being friends”As if we won’t just come full circle again.So I’ll speak to you in rhymes,Where I can tell you what’s really on my mind.How I dream of a hug so sublime,And a weekend of our legs entwined.
I hate that you were there when I removed my iud
And again, the whole long weekend before my baby was conceivedI hate that you resemble his father
and can argue you've known me for longerI hate how you used my words against me
and left me feeling like chewed up candyI hate that I risked so much for you
and you gave up on me so soon
What if, instead of going straightYou had turned right with me?Or if, instead of telling you my date was great,I had said there was someone else I'd rather see?
On a plane back from Miami,
I wasn’t interested in a new friend,
but you chatted the whole journey
And asked when you could see me again,
I can’t say why I agreed.
It started, as it seems it will end.You took me to a show the next night.
Deep down and immediately,
I knew it just wasn’t right.
Preoccupied with models and money,
You made me feel closed and tight
My defence to your hungry insecurityBut I welcomed your hunger, whatever the reasons may be
And you continued your pursuit, for three more years
Until those Moscow Mules in that hotel lobby,
When I reconsidered what I had initially feared,
That maybe I was wrong about you and me,
That maybe my head and heart were not so clear.In San Francisco that Valentine’s Day
Neither of us was actually single
When you inhaled me in a way
That made my stomach tingle
From the intoxicating shades of gray
As your fingers traced mine, a touch so simple.Another year, another hotel lobby,
this one in New York in May.
I wanted to understand why me?
If I wasn’t just some Manitoban cliche,
Perhaps a tad too friendly?
I vibrate at a higher energy you sayLines like these led me to your bed
Lines so smooth they made me wet
Lines so flattering I let you reach between my legs
Lines about how you’d wanted me since the day we met
Lines about being mine, never wanting this to end
Lines that led me to choose pleasure over possible regretMy gut didn’t believe you, though I wanted to.
It all felt like a tactic from the game,
It just felt wrong to kiss or touch you.
I thought with you inside me, my gut might change.
It didn’t. Then as with now, I knew.
I wish I’d listened, avoided this pain.For three more years I thought, what was the harm?
I’d never met someone quite like you, who had a way
Of making me doubt my gut, it had a certain charm.
I knew how it would end, but I wanted the foreplay
Even though it made my stomach ache with alarm
I had my own hunger to feed, I’m ashamed to say.Does all that happened next even matter,
When it was all written in our first interaction?
An 8 year story repeated over and over.
My gut overruled by endless manipulations
Let’s skip then to the lesson I gathered:
I don’t want to be anyone’s opium den.
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If any of these poems made you feel some way, I'd love to hear from you!